bk from rock climbing course.  It was a good experience.  Will write about it later :)

My baby

A few days ago, I had planted a 'Tulsi' in my balcony.  It was ailing that time.  Its leaves were infected with some kind of black, small insect.  Once a plant gets infected with this insect, the plant's leaves start recoiling and the plant thereafter cannot survive for long.  The only way out I could think of was 'operation'.   I cut off the infected leaves and cautiously cleaned the portions of the tub where I could find the mighty insect.  Only d buds were left of the plant!   Watered it and anxiously waited for it to grow.  Everyday I looked at it to see how much the buds did grow.  Slowly two small leaves in the bud grew up into full leaves.  :P  Slowly branches came out.  It survived.  It grew up into a 'Kishori' (sorry, couldn't find a better or equal word in English).  Married it off to 'Vishnu' :) on 10th of November, this year. It was 'Prabhosini -Ekadashi'- 11th lunar day of bright fortnight of Month 'Kartik'.  My sweet baby dressed up in a bride's wear.  Yes, I baught an 'odhni' for it.

Now some 'manjari' r coming out. :)...

My litte baby is a grown up woman today, bt, still my same little baby. :)

Kitne ajeeb rishte hain jahan me!!!!!

hamare intehaan ki intehaan ho gai
chale the subha, ab to raat ho gai
har pal, har lamha tujhe paane ko fariyaad kiya
par tujhe khone ke darne hi tujhse judaa kiya!!!!

Har palme dard tha, tanha har pal tha:
Kori, komal kalai me kisne banduk thamaya tha;
Jin naino me sapne the, wo aansuo ka samandar bane;
Armaano ke tukre hue, tukroko kisne bikhera tha

Prabhat da, Ankan, Haradhan, all my labmates, unit mates, teachers thanks :).

When coming from home 4 lab, left d front door open, thank God, in moments returned back to real world and locked it.
In institute, lift reached 9th floor, left it and reached 7th floor n I realized I didnt step out in 9th floor
Donno when n how n where I lost my left ear ring , noticed it at 4 in d morning (or night)!!!
N yes, slipped from stairs n fell flat on face on 7th floor; it's Sunday!
Nw I hv lost my new umbrella!!!

Who's more stupid than me???

Emptiness

A story behind this song: there was a guy named Rohan rathore in IITG.  He loved Supriya.  But his love nvr got reciprocated.  He composed d song n dedicated to his love n withing 15 days of composing this song, he died! He was a cancer patient.  


The first song was by Rohan Rathore n d second by some1 I donno (n dnt really care to know), is a supposed reply to d first song.  Dnt want to comment on any1 of these, just can feel n want my readers to feel that too, feelings cannot always be expressed in words.


U can find d song in d following link and d lyrics follows that.
http://grooveshark.com/#/s/Emptiness+lonely+/3x95wY?src=5




Oh love of mine, with a song and a whine,
You’re harsh and divine like truths and a lie.
But the tale ends not here.
I have nothing to fear
for my love is a yell of giving and hold on.

In the bright emptiness, in a room full of it,
is a cruel mistress – my heart!
I feel this unrest, that nests all hollowness,
for I have nowhere to go and I’m cold.

And I feel so lonely yeah…
There’s a better place than this: emptiness.
And I’m so lonely yeah…
There’s a better place than this: emptiness
yeah… yeah… yeah…

Aa.. aa.. aa…

Tune mere jaana.., kabhi nahi jaana..,
Ishq mera, dard mera.. haaye..
Tune mere jaana, kabhi nahin jaana,
Ishq mera, dard mera.
Aashiq tera…
Bheed mein khoya rehta hai.
Jaane jahaan…
Puchho toh itna kehta hai -

That I feel so lonely yeah…
There’s a better place than this: emptiness…
And I’m so lonely yeah…
There’s a better place than this: emptiness
yeah… yeah… yeah…

Aa.. aa.. aa…






http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=U8NYLZkiIIs


Tu aa ja, tu aa ja,
mujhko meri saja to sunaja
wo aahein, ha wo aansu
mere hisse ke mujhko rulaja
sapne tere sare, jinme main rehti thi
tukre banke mere, jakhm sine me kar gaye ho


maine mere jana kyo nahi jana 
ishq tera dard tera oooo
maine mere jana kyo nahi jana 
ishq tera dard tera haaa


akele akele reh gayi bin tere main akele
main tarpu ya main tarsu ya chali aau main paas tere
itni tanhayi hai, zindegi kho gayi
baatein karne saarein aarahi hu tujhse hi ho
maine mere jana ab hai jana
ishq tera dard tera haaaye
maine mere janaa ab hai jana
ishq tera dard tera haaye

maine mere janaa ab hai jana
ishq tera dard tera

tu jo gaya, haal ye mera rehta hai
dil ye mera khudse hi tanha rehta hai
n I feel too lonely yeah
there's a better place than this: emptiness
n m too lonely yeah
there's a better place than this: emptiness
yeah yeah yeah yeah


......

Lessons from experience of life

Lessons from experience of life:

1. Nvr consider anything (specially any1) negligible.  Learned this from a lifetime experience, though I knew it from vry beginning of my life, d experience rooted d statement deep inside me :) .

2. A person is nvr all bad, his/her behavior can be compared to a multifaceted object.  If he/she seems to be bad/rude towards u, it's just that d wrong facet of his behavior is facing u, u hv to find just d right facet.  Can remember at least two ppl at this moment who were not good towards me n felt lyk what d hell r they doing on this earth, bt gradually I felt lyk this was d manufacturing defect of their behavior, they actually bore good heart n later on they were so affectionate towards me.  All u got to do is avoid d part of their behavior that hurts/irritates u.

3. When meeting a person for d first time, nvr complain about any1 irrespective of whether the complain is just or not.  It creates a bad impression about u.

4. Nvr complain for a long perior nt even to ur close1s.  It can ruin ur relation!  Dnt b nagging.  Tell about ur problems, tell that u don't like this or that, bt nvr make it series of complains.  If ur complain doesn't work simply avoid that's irritating u n move on.

5. Life consists of alternate phase of stormy rains and sunshine, one phase may b longer n sometimes quite longer that other.  All u need to do is keep urself deep rooted in ur ground while it's stormy, else u will b washed away by d rain 4 ever!

6. Emotions, :) , puts soul in God's best creation, sometimes it makes u weak, sometimes strong, all depends on how u put it to use!

7.  Game's nt over until I win :) :) :)...........

8. "If ur love wants to go, let him/her go.  If he/she comes back only then he/she is urs, otherwise he/she nvr was."  ---Wrong!!!  If ur love wants to go let him/her go n nvr expect him/her to come back, he/she nvr was urs, even if he/she comes bk, he/she comes back only to trouble u!!!!  If some1 truly loves u he/she will nvr leave u alone, he/she will alwaysl b with u, day-night, birth-rebirth!!!!!

9. "When there's a conflict between ur brain n heart, let heart be followed." --Swami Vivekananda.  Well I dnt totally agree with this statement.  When there's a conflict between ur heart and brain, follow undoubtedly ur brain, bt when ur brain doesnt come out with an idea, depend on heart, heart almost always has something to say, it may nt solve d problem bt may lead to a new dimension!!!

10. Live every moment of life, make d best of it for life is limited, less r opportunities.  Say whatever u want to , do whatever u want to, unless it hurts some1

11. Never ever tell your weakness to anyone. Don't show your vulnerable side to anyone. She/he is 99% sure will take advantage of your vulnerability or hurt you later on. 

12. If you want success, your first investment should be in your health, second in your skills then anything else. 

13. Time, time of your life, is the most valuable resource. It's slipping every single second. Use it. Value your own time and value that of others. 

14. Savings alone never makes you rich. If you wanna be rich, find sources of income. 

15. "Chadar jitni ho pair utne hi failane chahiye". Sahi? Galat. Jitna pair failana ho chadar utni bari karo, fir pair utne failao. 

16. If someone helped you with a contract, try not to complain about that contact to the person who gave you the contact. That person may feel like falling in unnecessary problem and may not help you with other contacts again in future! 

Some of my friends said that celebrating festivals like Rakhi is mere wastage of time.  They argue that if they feel affection for their sisters, they need not celebrate it once in a year.  They will feel d same with or without d celebration.  I just dnt agree with them.  I just believe in the words, "If u love me u must express it".  From very childhood I have understood how it is important to express love/affection.  I m nt talking about exaggerate the show off, m talking about expressing n celebrating d bond.  Though I m nt good at words, so asked ppl in a public forum n u urself see what was d response like.  I hv copied and pasted it below. :)

Q.

Some say celebrating festivals like Rakhi is a wastage of time. What u think?

Tags: rakhi, say celebrating

Asked by swapna agarwal, 03:40 pm

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Answers (5)

1.

Teasing girls , throwing stones ,blwoing whistle after sun set sitting on the pavement is productive .
There drinking alchohol with chiken tikka masala in bar is also quite productive .
Yes rakhi festival is waste of time -- bring them who say this .

Answered by joyesh chakraborty, 03:45 pm

   

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   1.

Well said man

Says true indian

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   2.

I dint say this to earn appriciation , i lose my temparament reading the comment .

Says joyesh chakraborty

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2.

Those who can't understand the concept and value of the festival , for them it is waste ......... our believe & respect to the tradation can't be measured with money ........ those who are thinking so , for them money is everything and they must not be knowing the value of relation ..........

Answered by pradeep mishra, 03:56 pm

   

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Who says this bring that person I will beat him with shoes and sandals

Answered by true indian, 03:53 pm

   

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I will give a very simple reply, dont mind my wordings, those who say this are idiots and duffer and are trying to show that they are fully modern ( westernised ) but they are befooling themselves

Answered by rajan, 05:23 pm

   

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Not only time also wastage of many important resource. It is also a reason of conflict among brothers & sisters many time.

Answered by Rahee, 03:46 pm

   

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How many pegs u have today

Says true indian

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Haha

Says swapna agarwal

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Love is supposed to be self-sufficient, self-reliant. It should not be incomplete without d love-back. Then why r human emotions so selfish (is d word right in this context ?)?  Why do we hope that d person v love will love us back? Why does his/her ignorance hurt us?  N what's love?  Too complicated a feeling!! Which actions/feelings actually mark its existence? Is there any discrete threshold of feelings that marks the beginning of love?  If some1's existence in front of u, gives u pleasure, is that love or it should b called infatuation?  If u r ready to give up ur life 4 some1, can it be called love or is it simply humanity on ur behalf?  If u r really to wait 4 some1 for ur whole life, can that b called love or is that just a crazy decision of urs?

Isn't a lifetime too short to love? I guess u cannot get enough of it in a lifetime!  U hv to take rebirth again again to love ur love.  Then why do couples fight with each other in this short life-span?  I, I just dnt get how can they b angry with each other for long, when they have that deep passionate love for each other?  Why do ppl say that fight between couples increases d love?  I suppose it's rubbish.

Has love something to do with spirituality? N what's Platonic love? Hey, I was nt at d time of d symposium.  Can love be categorized as Platonic, Clandestine etc etc?  Does it fall under d class "maya"?  Difference between 'bhakti' n 'love'?  Personally I feel there is a spiritual aspect of love, as I believe in love of souls, n believe in d theory that this universe is continually changing, from destruction to creation, from creation to destruction, from contraction to expansion and from expansion to contraction. Cudn't understand? well, will describe it some other time.  For me 'bhakti' n 'love' r same.  I understand 'maya' is nt that big, that great to include 'love'.  Bt really dnt know how to distinguish this feeling from others!

A great song for all who think they love:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k_4IZYlQDY

Ok till nw it was only on 'love'.  What about 'marriage'?  Do u think that d marriages that look like working well, r really working well?  Nw tell me what's marriage.  Many ppl say 1 has to compromise in some places in order to make ur marriage work!   Marriage is about being able to adjust with ur partner/ur spouse.  Is it?  If v have to compromise in some places, hv to adjust according to some1's needs, then why get married?  They say, u need some1 to spend ur life with.  Ok fine.  So marriage is over with life?  Is it nt about sharing ur LIFE, instead of  JUST spending life with?  Is it not about unionization of two souls ( I do believe in soul, God, extralife life n ultimately 'advaityabaad')?  I dnt believe marriage is about adjusting with ur partner, I believe, it's about completing urself with ur partner, when u r truly in love with ur spouse, u wont ever feel u r compromising on something, actually u wont hv to compromise.  So marriage doesnt make u feel low, doesnt make u less (than what u r actually), it makes u complete. 

When u r used to see some1 everyday very near, very close to u n suddenly he/she disappears, suddenly u feel empty inside (especially when u feel guilty of causing him/her trouble). Nt just empty, how it feels cannot be described in words!!

Table पे paper

दरवाजे पे निगाहें 

नमसी आखें

बन्दसी जुबाँ

इन्तेजार 

इन्तेजार

बस इन्तेजार हुआ

वो न आए 

दिन ढल जाये

उनकी खाहिश मे

दिल दुबा जाये

कोइ जाए 

उन्हे बताए

हम न रहेंगे

बस वो आ जाये

tune jo na kaha main wo sunta raha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HBUd7--PsY&feature=related
mora piya mose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDBJLrJXc1M
hai kya ye jo tere mere darmiyaan hain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zRLOWmSTdE&feature=related
o bekhabar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVy7aEMwpM&feature=related
tere naam se jee lu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6CqANW49J0&feature=related
pyaar hai ya sazaa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0ydNTJ6f7Y&feature=related
chor bazari do naino ki
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDne5fEsxec&feature=relmfu
O gal,u'r mine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WV5l2-VsMU&feature=related
dhanno
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6c5QL9GXno&feature=related

My city

The night view of the city as it looks from the window of my room in my insti, is beeeautiful, is just awesome.  It seems lyk the entire city is celebrating "Deevapali"!  Some1, very carefully, has decorated the city with "diya"s and twilights, some yellow, some red, mostly white and some green too.  The green1s r in d airport.  Saltlake, Rajabazar, Airport, Untadanga, Baranagar, each part of the city is equally participating in the celebration.  There r some moving series of lights too in d form of moving vehicles on the broad roads.  The look is just mind-blowing.  Because of some uncanny reason, d look is differently beautiful!  It's so soothing.  Whenever I feel disturbed, I look thru d window and d scene calms my mind, my soul.  That's why I lyk the room so much.  This awesome look has got a short age, , , for me :).

According to Bhagwat Mahapuran, Byasdev was the 17th 'avatar' followed by Ram (18th), Balram (19th) and Krishna (20th).  So far as I have heard, Byasdev was illegitimate son of Satyabati and father of Dhritarashtra, Pandu and Vidur i.e., he lived in Dwapar yug, so how come he was 17th (before Ram who is 18th avatar and lived in Treta yug which is said to before Dwapar yug) avatar?

What is it meant by Krishna was 'purnavatar'? Doesn't 'purnavatar' mean avatar of d whole entity? If 'purnavatar' is defined so, and if the whole universe is mere part of 'Vishnu', how come is it possible to have 'purnavatar' and some more living and non-living beings at the same time?

'Bhagwar Mahapuran' is quite confusing!!!!!!!!

:'(
..............

Halke hawa chali, jhumke baarish aai

kisika aanchal uda, kisiki palke bhingi

kisike dilne roke, kisiko yaad kiya

uska saath na chhute, kisine fariyaad kiya

jubaan ki chuppi jo keh na paai

chhalakti aankhon se wo chhupaate na bana

bohot roka duniyadaari ne magar

aansu aur kaajal ka kuchh afsana sa bana

aandhi aa kar sab ujaar kar gai

aur koi chain ki nind sota raha

kisiko aawaj sunaai vi na di

aur dil khamosh rota raha

ज़िन्दगी-१

थोड़ा प्यार, थोड़ा दुलार, थोड़ी मीठी थी ज़िन्दगी

मम्मी का स्नेह, डैडी की गोद, थोड़ी मासूम थी ज़िन्दगी

याद आता हैं 

मम्मी का वो पुरे दिन रसोई में बिताना

थके बिना हमारे लिए मिठाई बनाना

याद आता  हैं

डैडी के गोदमें बैठ वो नास्ता करना

मनमे बसे पुरे दिनके किस्से सुनाना

वो पहली साइकिल, वो पहली टीवी

आईं थी सब मेरे लिए

मम्मी-डैडी वाला वो पहला प्यार

दिल में आयें थे बस मेरे लिए

सामके वक्त मम्मीसे वो हिंदी सीखना

हैरिकेनके रौशनी में वो गणित करना

दोस्तोंके साथ वो लुक्काछुप्पी 

पड़ोसिके छतसे वो कुद्दी

साइकिलसे वो रेस लगाना 

घरके बराव्न्देमें वो क्रिकेट खेलना

शामको खेलके वो घर लौटना

दौड़कर पिछेसे मम्मी को पकड़ना

सब याद आतें हैं

वो घर, वो फोल्डिंग बिस्तर, वो सांझा चूल्हा, वो पापड़ी वाली रोटी

क्यों न याद करू?

वो चेरी, वो किसमिस, वो कलाकंद, साथमें डैडी का प्यार

कैसे भूल जाऊ?

वो सिरियोंसे जो मेरा पैर फिसला था

झटसे भैयाने जो मुझे पकड़ा था

वो चोकोलेटवाली आंटी का चोकोलेट लाना

गर्मियोंकी छुट्टीयों में मिनी-पिऊदी का आना

थोड़ी सीधी, थोड़ी भोली, थोड़ी प्यारी थी ज़िन्दगी 

थोड़े सपने, थोड़े उमंग, थोड़ी नयी थी ज़िन्दगी 

What u think about me

Dear friends,

After writing so many posts, it’s time to know how u ppl (my friends and/or readers) think about me.  U can say, m asking u to write a testimonial each.  Be honest in whatever u write.  Ppl who read my blog and leave the webpage without posting any comment and tell me about d posts later are also requested to take some time out from their busy schedule to let me know what u ppl think about me.  Lyk what type of a person I am, how do u find my nature, my looks, my thoughts etc.

Here I would lyk to mention that one person after reading my blog commented that it seems that m nt family oriented.  I dnt understand how do my blog suggest that.  It can be noted that this person didn’t know me before!

Feeling lyk sitting on mountain top and watching far away skyline where the vast sea meets eternal sky, seeing the waves of salty water roaring, bt keeping their play limited only to sea, nvr coming to land and feeling the cooool air, gentlly bt prominently touching and making me understand she's (d air) there!!!

This unique piece was born on a unique day, d hottest day of d year, at d hottest time of the day :). My grandma had to break her fast on that day because of my birth i.e., at least one of usual rules was bronken on my birth itself :).  Generally that day is considered to be auspicious.  Bhimsenji  was told by VedByasji in Mahabharat that fasting on this particular day earns u 'punya' equivalent to fasts on 23 other 'ekadashi's :).  And I restrained my grandma from earning this 'punya' on my birth :P.  After that I hv set many records in the 'Agarwals' book of family records' :P.

This peculiar day is tomorrow :).....

खो जाऊ?

बचपन में जब mom को काम होता था तो वो हमें खेलने को छोड़ देंती थी. और हम घर से बहार निकल जाते थे अनजाने रास्तो पर. बोहोत अच्छा लगता था खो जाना. नए रास्तो पे खुदको अकेला छोर देती थी. अनजाने को जानने की ग़जब सी खुसी मिलती थी. पर कभी वि खो नहीं जाती थी. हमेसा सही समई पर घर वापस आ जाती थी.

आज मौसम बड़ा अच्छा है. रात को बारिश हुई. रस्ते कही कही अभी भी भींगे हुए हैं. हवा में ठंडक है, अगर भी गर्मी भी महसूस हो रही है. आज बचपन के उन दिनों में लौटने का मन कर रहा है :)

कभी कभी अच्छा होता है, खो जाना :)

Daaka daale teri bansi

Just loved d song.  There are some real beautiful things/non-things that u like by seeing/listening just once.  This song is 1 example of them.  Listened to it last night in Coffee House Classics in Radio. Loved d playful young voice. Loved d way d words "daaka daale" r pronounced.  Searched it online today.  After much hard work found it ultimately :)
[Love d way Radha loves d love of her life.  Love ur love frm d deepest corner of ur heart, ur soul, every finest part (cnt say molecule, possibly that's nt d finest part, nt even atom, electron, proton, neutron....).  Love should say lyk, "I will tk a thousand rebirth just tobe with u.", nt lyk, "I will die without u."  U b happy just seeing ur love.  Just a mere glimple of his/her face in ur dreams makes ur day bright.  His/her attitude, b it positive or negetive, wont change ur attituder towards him/her.  You r always prepared to fill him/her with ur love.  Love's a bit more innocent than u can imagine!  It nvr harms, believe me, nvr.  It always makes u delighted, always happy. Love nvr makes u demand/expect, bt u r always ready to give.  It makes u crazy.  U can understand what it is, only when u feel it, when u r deeply, crazily, madly in love with some1 lyk Radha/Meera]

D lyric's for u:

Film: Anuraag,
Music: S. D. Burman

Singer: Lata Mangeshkar
Year: 1972

Link: http://www.desi-radio.com/album_Anuraag_year_1972.php

Neend churaye, chain churaye, daaka dale teri bansi

Neend churaye, chain churaye, daaka dale teri bansi

Are din dahare, are din dahare, chori kare, raat bhar jagaye
Daaka daale teri bansi
Ooh

Neend churaye, chain churaye, daaka dale teri bansi

Man me lage aisi agan jaise chamke bijuriya badal me

Man me lage aisi agan jaise chamke bijuriya badal me

Chupke kabhi le jaungi teri bansi chhupake aanchal me

Kaahe saam dhale, kahe saam dhale, kadam tale mujhko bulaye
Daaka daale teri bansi
Neend churaye, chain churaye, daaka dale teri bansi


Samjhi thi main, natkhat hai tu, bas makhan churaya karta hai
Samjhi thi main, natkhat hai tu, bas makhan churaya karta hai
Deewani main najani tu kahe panghat pe aaya karta hai
Mohe laaj aaye, mohe laaj aaye, haaye nahi baat kahi jaye
Daaka daale teri bansi
Neend churaye, chain churaye, daaka dale teri bansi


Bansi ki dhun sunke piya jiya mera kahin kho jata hai
Bansi ki dhun sunke piya jiya mera kahin kho jata hai
Mai kya kahu, kya na kahu mohe na jane kya ho jata hai
Geet preet bhare, geet preet bhare, gaaye sudbud bisraye
Daaka daale teri bansi
Neend churaye, chain churaye, daaka dale teri bansi


Aare din dahare chori kare, raat bhar jagaye, daaka daale teri bansi
o daaka daale, daaka daale, daaka daale.....

Tamo guhn

Read about 'Tamo guhn' in Gita. It classifies all 'Guhn' into three classes: 1. 'Satya Guhn', 2, 'Rajo Guhn' n 3.'Tamo Guhn'.  Similary, Gita calssifies all kinds of edible things into 3 categories: 1. 'Satya', 2. 'Rajo' n 3. 'Tamo'.  Examples of 'Satya' food are: fruits which are succulent and has smooth surface; examples that of 'Rajo' food are fried and spicy food; exaples of 'Tamo' food include food which are stale/rotten, having no food value.  Its is said that ppl with 'Tamo Guhn' tend to eat 'Tamo' food.  When I read d chapter on these classification of food, I thought, who would like to eat 'Tamo' food except if not forced to.  Lyk, if any1 has no option to eat anything else.

  A heap of domestic wastes lies on one foot of B. T. Road, in front of Uttaran Gate.  Ppl pass that heap with a hanky on their nose.  I saw a man, 30 to 40 yrs of age, searching and eating food from there. What made him search food frm there?  He cud beg for food as other beggers do, bt he did nt.  I asked him to come with me to hv relatively good and fresh food.  He denied.  I cudn't make him come with me.  What cud b d reason?  Was he afraid of something?  What cud he loose if he came with me?  What he had that he was afraid of loosing?  Did he like d 'Tamo' food?
God only knows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..............................

Some1 told me, my Hindi's horrible!

TRUE, VRY TRUE :)

Night's beautiful; it's so pleasant, so soothing, so peachful n enchanting

यादें

अपनी हॉस्टल की याद आ गई. वाहा के लोगो को दो ग्रुप में बाँट सकते हैं. जो बड़ा ग्रुप होता था

उनमे वो लोग पड़गे थे जो मेरे हिसाब से इंसान के संज्ञा में नहीं पड़ते. क्योंकि इंसान तो सिर्फ हार

मांस का मशीन नहीं, उसके सिने में दिल होता है जो दुस्रोके साथ खुदको एक समझता है, जिसे दर्द होता है, जो care करना जनता है. पर जो bigger  ग्रुप की बात कर रही हु उनके सिने से दिल नामक मशीन तो थी पर उसमे feelingns  नहीं थी. चाहे उनके सामने कोई इंसान तड़पता ही क्यों न रहे उन्हें फरक नहीं पड़ता था. एक छोटा सा ग्रुप था, जब वि कोई बीमार पड़ता था लोग उनके bed  पे आ कर सो जाते थे, क्यों की उन रोगियों को ये पता होता था के ये छोटे ग्रुप से सहाईता जरुर मिलेगी. उस छोटे ग्रुप में थी, मौसुमी, सिउली,....  Missing  them .

Hope  मै इतनी बुरी तो नहीं हु के अगर मै बीमार हु तो कोई एकबार पूछने को वि न आये.  मैंने तो हमेसा सबकी मदद ही की है.  फिर क्यों?

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Punashcha:  Three supernormal experiences today mornig when I went out to hv my breakfast.  These hv nothing to do with what I hv written above. Just mentioned here as these happened today only!

Met a woman, aged about 50-60. I cudn't get more approximate idea about d woman's age. She lives somewhere in Kamarhati in an abandoned (I guess) house. She said, "amar nijer bari nei, loker aashroye thaki". She has a daughter who is currently married and apparently doesnt stay with her. Her huband used to work in some jute mill (nearby Kamarhati I guess, I dnt hv much idea about d mills here). He died. Didn't ask how. She doesn't get pension, she said. I asked how she takes care of her daily expenditure like food, chothese n all. She said ppl of Kamarhati takes care of that. D day she gets food, she eats, otherwise nt. Some ppl nearby her house donates her clothes when required. While talking to her I came to know that she had broken her wrist joint. She consulted Calcutta medical college, had plaster on it, bt her bones cud nt join properly so she now a days experiences pain in her hand and is nt able to do household chores. N yes, she is 'high pressure' patient with some heart problem I guess.

What caught my attension was her mental condition. Possibly she was feeling helpless. All alone she was standing on our ISI's GLT Rd. gate. She was just about to cry. Thank God, tears didn't roll down her experienced yet cute cheek. Yeah, she was behaving like a child. May be may nt be. Sometimes almost all ppl seem like child to me. Bt one thing is clear. She is too innocent.

Meeting her was followed by two more nt normal experiences!!!
Who knows what that Person, sitting up above (or below or right or left, who knows?) is thinking or planning to do!!!!!...

MY FIRST EXPERIENCE WITH MEDITATION

My mind has become very restless these times.  As a result when it's high time that i study/work hard and prove my ability, I just don't be able to concentrate!  All sorts fo thoughts march past the playground of my mind.  While reading the paper on 'simulated annealing', I was thinking how to do some development in some part of society.  I roughly estimated how much it will cost to accomodat 2-3 ppl (helplless otherwise) in a rented house, take care of their meal and health.  If I start with the smallest possible house it may cost 2-3 thousand/month + about 2000/month for the 'aaya' as I (v) may not be able to give duty to those ppl 24*7 + food expenses and of course expenses for their healthcare including doc's visit and expenses for medicines.    This means at least 10000/month!  Quite high for a person like me who gets 15000 something/mnth and has her own responsibilities/liabilities.  I thought of forming a group of likeminded ppl who may contribute in this initiative and really feel good/happy inside for their contribution would give new life to some ppl.  Controlling our lives is only in the Almighty's hands.  But v can play it's (I have intensionally used 'it' for I dnt believe in God's gender) messenger.  Bt who's gonna think the way I am thinking.  So felt like I am thinking like a stupid.  Today when I was coming to ISI, I took the B. T. Road footpath from Bonhoogly to ISI, 203 campus.  Two ppl were lying on the footpath.  Possibly they were not dead, bt of course nt in good condition.  I just wanted to ask them why they were lying there.  Bt would it be right if they were sleeping?  Yesterday also I saw a person lying on footpath in Bonhoogly.  he had only one foot.  Bothe his legs were inflated. and the posturte of his body was saying that either he was senseless or dead. Bt I didn't do anything! I just saw and passed by.  What sould I had done as a civilian with sense of civil responsibilities.  Plz do suggest me.

By this time hope u have got an idea of how diversely spread my mind is as I was supposed to write about my 1st meditation experiecne this season!!!  I am saying 'this season' as I used to try to meditate while doing M. Sc.  Let me write about yesernight.  I tried to sit in a right posture: crossed legs, right palm on left palm, hands a little away from body, back standing erect as it helps in not getting sleepy, head slightly downwards and eyes half open.  If eyes are open, external energies may excite your mind and if they are closed, thoughts will continue to pour into ur mind.  Now tried to concentrate on observing breating pattern without trying to control it.  But, the problem is wehn we try to observe our own breathing pattern, without our knowledge, v actually try to control it!  We should try to not letting any thought come into our mind.   So v can think of any particular word/thing like 'oum'.  Tried.  Whenever I tried to concentrate on the word 'oum', my eyelids dropped gradually and as eyelids dropped all sorts of thoughts started to roam into my mind.  I gave myself some 17 mins time and set alarm after 17 mins. In 10 mins a ph call came.  So had to attend it.  After that again gave myself another 10 mins time.  This time doobell rang.  Now I asked myself to count 21 inhalations and exhalations.  I cudn't breathe properly using my nostrils as they were blocked as I caught cold.  So breathed from mouth partially.  This time I succeeded a bit.   Cud concentrate on counting the breating instaces, bt nt fully.  So tried 51 times.

Meditation is a matter of habit.  It's a process to control your thoughts and give ur mind rest  a bit.  Better luck nxt day. :)

APPENDMENT (U must be thingking, 'now what's appendment?'.  Well, it's a nown meaning appending :) ):  This post was written some 1 week ago.  Bt I cudn't find time to upload it.  Was a bit lazy. 

1.Good news is that in the same week I got a mail mentioning that some ppl here are actually thinking of doing something good for society.  Glad to know that.

2.The person with only 1 foot, I saw him 2 days ago again.  That means he was nt dead that time. :)