You never know what life has in store for you. some good or some bad. Life can face a sudden drastic change. You may be an athlete and at this time performing the highest jump of your life and a bad fall can make u paralyzed for ever. You are going to visit your family and an unexpected road accident can cause amputation of your leg! You left a secure Govt. job to get a degree from a reputed institute that almost guarantees a much better placement. But the year you get your degree a recession might be in place. On the other side some good news can also come almost unexpectedly. You consider yourself the dullest student of your class. your have performed poorly in the last maths exam. Your class teacher announces your name and you are afraid possibly you are the one who got the lowest marks. And you get to know you topped actually! You are in real bad mental state and crying that no one loves you and suddenly a phone call comes from a childhood friend with whom you were not in touch for a decade. And he says he has been an admirer of you from that very childhood and you barely ever noticed him before!

What happens tomorrow and for that matter after a while, can be a point in a linear extrapolation function learned from your past and present. It can also be a point in a far more complex function that has sudden spikes. Or it can be step function too. You never know just the next moment can change the course of your life forever. So if you are going through a bad phase, do not get disheartened. Times and conditions do change and sometimes without any notice. If you are happy at this moment enjoy it to the lees as this happiness might not come again. And if you are just ok and spending time leisurely, my advice would be enjoy that leisure too. Be grateful that you have got two hands and two legs, two beautiful eyes to see this colorful world. Think from say, a four legged animal or a tree's point of view. Your ability to stand on your own feet, to move yourself and to move other things are not less than a miraculous boon. Ask someone on a wheel chair and he will tell you how fortunate you are. You lament that despite having ability you cannot start a 10 crore business due to lack of capital whereas your friend owns a 50 crore real estate business. You spend your days being unsatisfied with your life blaming fate why you were not born in a family as rich as tht of your friend's. You complain if your hubby does not gift you four lakh diamond bangles in you anniversary whereas your neighbor flaunts her diamond necklace in a party thrown by you! But for a moment clear your mind of these expectations and think of the domestic help who does all the cleaning after your party is over. Or think of your office peon or the beggar by the road side. Think of the person who has lost everything in a sudden earthquake. A normal day from your life will be 'a day in heaven' for them. So appreciate every moment of your life. Be grateful you are born human being for not all living beings are human beings.

Hi folks,
Now possibly for a long time there won't be any blog post as I have to prepare for my research papers. At least four papers in a row! Need to complete them in a way that all of them get accepted in the first chance. By the mean time one new post is already there. Currently the number of views of this blog is 7924. Waiting for the 10,000th views. Njoy and have a nice time.

गीता भाव-उदाहरण भाग १

कभी कभी एक ग़ज़ब सी feeling होती है। पता नहीं गीता पढने से पहले से ये थी या बादमे हुइ। गीता पढना चालू किये भी तो बर्षो हो गये। कभी कभी जब रात होती है, सब सुनसान होता है, पर चाँद की चांदनी पेड़ो के पीछे से झलक मारती है, एक छोटा सा कुछ ६'' diameter का उजला सा चाँद कुछ छुपे, कुछ गहरे से दाग उसमे, उसको चारो और से घेरे चांदनी कुछ ९ १/२ ' के radius में, फिर चारो और बादलो का जमावरा, सितारें फीके पर जाते हैं चांदनी के पीछे। उस चांदनी में सारे बृक्ष, उनके बिच झील, सब एक अलग ही gray scale video का रूप
लेते हैं। ग़जब सी सुहानी ठंडक होती है हवा मे। तब, बस तब 'मैं' कहीं नहीं रहती। मेरा अस्तित्व बिखर सा जाता है, तब हवा में मैं होती हूँ, झील के पानी में मैं होती हूँ, दूर पेड़ो के शाखों में मैं होती हूँ, प्रकृति के हर एक कण में मैं होती हूँ। सच, ऐसी चांदनी रात में मैं इंसान के रूप में अपना अस्तित्व भुला कर प्रकृति के साथ एक हो जाती हूँ। प्रकृति के हर एक कण में खुदको महसूस करती हूँ। उपलब्धि करती हूँ के इन्सान प्रकृति के ही कणो से बना हुआ एक बिषेस प्रकार का तंत्र मात्र है. प्रकृति से बनना , develop होना  और फिर उसी में मिल जाना है। फिर उसी के कुछ हिस्से फिरसे किसी और एक नया तंत्र का हिस्सा बनता है. सोच कर बड़ा आनंद आता है के ये चाँद में ये चांदनी भी मैं, ये हवा मैं, ब्रिक्ष मैं और ये झील भी मैं ही हूँ। फिर अपने आप से सवाल करती हूँ, अगर ये रात न होकर दिन होता, चाँद की मीठी चांदनी न होकर अगर २१ June की दोपहर की धुप होती, ठंडी हवा न होकर लू होती, तो भी क्या उन सबमे मैं होति। फिर लगता है, "ना: फिर मेरा नशा उतर जाता, फिर मैं इंसान ही होती!"

सो फिर कभी गर मैं न रहूँ, गर मेरी याद आये, गर लगे के मुझे खो दिया, फिर मुझे पाना चाहो, तो उदास न होना, बस इन्तेजार करना, चांदनी रात की, हवा के ठंडक की, के उनमे मैं होंगी। जब किसी झील की कांच से साफ़ पानी में देखो तो समझ लेना मैं वही हूँ, पेड़ के शाखों में मैं हूँ। नज़र उठा कर ऊपर देखना, किसी पेड़ के बिचली शाख पर दो पंछी घोसला बना रहे होंगे; उनमे मैं हूँ, उन तिनको में मैं हूँ, उनके अन्डो में भी मैं ही हूँ। नीचे देखना कुछ बच्चे खिलखिलाते, किलकारी मरते दिखाई पड़ेंगे। उनके खिलखिलाहट में मैं हूँ। जब ये सब तुम्हे मोह रहे होंगे तो चुपके से एक बिल्ली तुम्हारे ही पास आ के बैठी होगी, उसमे मेरा ही हिस्सा होग।

शांत रातमे जब अपने balcony में खड़े किसी चिंता में खोये होगे, आँखें बंद करना। एक ठंडी हवा का झोका गालो को छू जायेगा, समझ लेना मैंने कहा, "चिंता मत करो, मैं हूँ न।" जब May के ताप ने, काम के चाप ने, अन्दर, बहार, सब जला रखा होगा, तब याद करना, बारिश बनके आउंगी तुम्हारे लिये। बस थोडा हंस देना। जब बुढ़ापे में अन्दर कहीं खालीपन महसूस करो, तभी देखना एक खिलखिलाता बच्चा आ कर तुम्हारे गोद में खड़े होकर झट से गले लगाएगा। वो बच्चा मैं ही तो हूँ। उस बच्चे को गोद में बिठाकर उसके कोमल हाथो को पकड़ते हुए सामने देखना, एक १६ - १७ साल की बच्ची एक १७ - १८ साल के बच्चे को किसी यश राज movie style में propose कर रही होगी। समझ लेना वो मैं ही हूँ। अन्दर जाना, देखना एक माँ परम ममता से अपने बच्चे का tiffin pack कर रही होगि। पहचानने में गलती मत करना। फिरसे देखो, वो मैं ही तो हूँ।

और सच बताऊ, जब वो लम्हा आएगा, जब तुम्हे सारे बन्धनों से मुक्ति मिल जानी होगी, तब लकरीयों के सेज पर, तुम्हारा हाथ पकडे तुम्हारे साथ ही नहीं, बलके तुम्हारे अन्दर, तुम्हारे हर कण में, तुमसे एक हो जाने को मैं ही तो हूँ। 

Hello all,

I am writing here after so many days. I write when I feel like writing, never prepare for it. Even many of the poems here came just on the way (though not all of them). I am thinking of one of the rock climbing sessions back in December, 2011 at Susunia  rocks, Purulia, W. B.. The second rock that I climbed formally that day. I say formally coz I like climbing rocks whenever I get a chance to. But climbing small rocks (boulders actually) or a big one in steps and climbing a bigger one under the supervision of a guide is different. Isn't it? :) So as we already had successfully climbed a rock (it was a slant one with many holds) we were full of energy and enthu. But the second rock was a bit different, in shape and material. Yes, in material! It was a sandstone rock. The rock was covered with a layer of loose sands! And the shape? Awesome, awesome. Generally rocks are of pyramidal or at least trapezoidal shape. This rock was different. Its base was narrower. At the mid its spread was greater, as u go up, it becomes relatively flat. We were just near the vertical mid point of the rock, on the top of another rock just beside it. Let's call the rock that we wanted to climb, the destination rock. The sudden highest spread of the destination rock started just after 4 to 5 feet from where we were standing. Hope you can imagine how we had to start climbing it. Our guide, Mr. Debabrate Mukherjee did it first even before calling us. We had just finished climbing the first rock and he was climbing the destination rock. There were less number of hold on it and at about five feet from the place where we were standing, the climber had to walk horizontally on the rock to the left to get some holds. And when u walk horizontally on it u get away from the rock where we were standing and now you are almost 25 feet above ground. Let me remind my readers that we were not standing on the ground but on top of another rock. So, It looked so dangerous. Then I thought "he is used to climb such dangerous rocks. He can do it successfully. I too, shall, climb such challenging rocks some day". I didn't know it was the 'day', the particular moment was coming immediately next. Debuda (as we call our guide) called my rope to climb that rock! Wow! I was the rope leader.  One person (I am sorry, I forgot his name at this moment), a local mountaineer climbed first with a rope in his hand, sat on top and started belaying.  Tandra di, a doctor by profession, tried it first among us, the newcomer trainees. She started right, following Debuda, at about five feet height, she started walking left horizontally and.... Oh God! Now she was hanging from there from the rope that was tied to her waist and was being belayed from the local mountaineer sitting at top. If the rope was not tied to her she would had fallen to ground some 25 feet below and God only knows what could had happened. This incidence discouraged me a bit. But Tandradi encouraged me a lot. It was my turn now.

I started fine, followed the same horizontal track successfully, now it was time to climb vertically up. Did it. As I said the number of hold were less. So one needed to move here and there to get proper hold. I was a bit impatient, instead of following Debuda, wanted to find my own route now. From where I was standing now, there were no good holds, Debuda had taken some right steps at that point of time. My head was at the level of the top of the rock. So I tried a new technique. My hands reached the top of the destination rock, tried to hold it with full energy, though there were no holds, I lifted my legs and tried to push the steep walls of the rock obliquely downwards so that following Newton's third law it can push me obliquely upwards. Ha ha, what a good place to implement science! As I said earlier the rock was covered with a layer of loose sand, Newton's third law did not work as I wanted it to work. Both my legs slipped and I was hanging from above; my weight was not on rope (I guess) but on my biceps! Thank God I had previous practice of hanging from above, putting my weight on my biceps.

I practiced it at home. Yes, at home. I used the rooftop of the room and sometimes the mezzanine for it. With a little jump I could grab the mezzanine, used to hang from there and tried to lift my body from there. To be honest I only could fold my hands from elbow and lift my body only say some 7 to 8 inches. But I used to do one more thing. I swayed my whole body so that my legs could touch the ceiling! And almost all the time I succeeded. I used to do that in preparation for a particular situation. The situation is something like this. Suppose I am  lost in some jungle and the enemies have planted some hidden traps and what if I get caught by one of them and finally I am hanging from some high branch of a big tree?  So with my practice now I can sway my body to get hold of another nearby branch of the tree by my legs. In this way I can rescue myself. But here I was not in a jungle, I was hanging from a big rock! So this technique could not be applied. I was caught in a do or die situation. Either I had to accept defeat and fall from a height of some 40 to 45 feet and die or have fractures or whatever or I had to utilize all my energy and reach the top. Though the rope was still tied to my waist and the person who was belaying was holding the rope with utmost responsibility and despite the fact that the person belaying was constantly encouraging me and asking me not to worry, I did not want to depend on them. I wanted to reach the top on my own. My hands reached the top, I could see the top and the persons seating there, but I myself was hanging! Right now, today on April, 25, 2013, I can see myself at the same situation. I can see the top, the people seating over there. But I am hanging from there in a do or die situation. A little mistake can take my life or even worse, can handicap me and a great deal of effort can take me to the top. I must admit it needed lots of lots of energy to pull myself up from that hanging position. When I reached there, I signed. It was relief. But u see, it was not the end of the journey, that was just a first step, the height of the rock was much greater than what I thought it was. We could not see the actual height from where we were standing earlier. Another rope was hanging from the actual top and Partha da was belaying from there!

Doesn't life take us through similar paths? Sometimes we get unexpected chances, sometimes we succeed, sometimes our innovative ways prove to be wrong, we fall in 'do or die' situation, sometimes the moment when we think we have accomplished our work, we find there's lot more to do!

Till now I have not died. I am very much alive and hope will remain alive for a long time as I have a 'lot more do to' but before that I also have to use that enormous energy to reach the first step, the first top.

Life

Hey, what's this? It was dark and all dreams,
n now it's light and all screams.
Some objects moving-talking with a structure that of mine;
have never seen before, I was inside months some nine.
Now I am in her lap, she's so beautiful and loving.
She looks so happy while cuddling and caring.
It's a wonderful world unknown and complete new.
It beckons me with its awesome charming view.
I wanna move, I wanna walk, I wanna laugh, I wanna talk,
I wanna move around with all these weird folks.