Friday, January 21, 2011

letter to a frnd

Like many, life was never a smooth sailing for me.  After completing my graduation in comp. sc.,  I found no way to continue my studies.  I had to sit at home which was almost impossible for me after developing a habit of spending d whole day either studying in bushes/jungle/college, working in lab or playing.  So to keep myself busy, I joined Holy Home as a science faculty, following d advice of 1 of my frinds' dad.  There in d school, was a girl, (my colleague who was Bengali teacher there), who is very sweet and gentle.  After leaving d school to continue further study, I used to write her letters.  The following lines were written in a letter to her.

শীতল মন্দ  সমীরণ  যবে, শিহরণ  তোলে প্রাণে
তোমারে  পরে  মনে;
নক্ষত্রলোকের  শশী যবে, জ্যোত্স্নালোক   ছড়ায়  হৃদয় বনে
তোমারে  পরে  মনে;
নিঝুম  নিশীথে  থাকি  যবে, একলা  ঘরের  প্রশস্ত  পালঙ্কে
তোমারে  পরে  মনে;
শান্ত  নিরীহ  কেহ  যবে, বিচরণ  করে  অচেনা  কাননে
তোমারে  পরে  মনে....

The above lines using English alphabet r as follows:

 
sheetol mondo somiron jobe, shihoron tole praane
tomare more mone;
nokhotroloker shoshi jobe, jyotsnalok chhoran hridoi bone
tomare pore mone;
nijhum nishithe thaki jobe, ekla ghorer proshosto palonke
tomare pore mone;
Shanto niriho keho jobe, bichoron kore ochena kanone
tomare pore mone....

মন মোর মন

Bravery, courage, subbornness, enthusiasm, dream-- these are d words that can b used to describe me in my college days.  I loved to dream.  Never cared about what others say.  It doesn't mean that I didn't care about others' feelings.  It means that I always knew what I want to do n what's right n wrong.  Didn't depend on others to take decisions.  The road of life that I m walking on is chosen by me and only me.  Many obstacles came n r still coming.  Some were small, some big n some very big.  I fell from there, broke my bone, bt as I said m stubborn, so I keep on walking on road chosen by me.  I was nvr afraid of new horizon.  Was always enthusiastic about discovering new roads.  The following lines were written in 1 fine morning, when I was in college


হেথা হোথা সেথা, ঘুরে বেড়ায় সদা,
     মন যে মোর কথা মানে না.
মন রে মন, একটু তবে শোন,
     পাগলা যে সে কাহারে শোনে না.


চঞ্চল সচল গতি, কোমল তরল মতি
     জানি সে সুধু একলা চলে যায়.
জানা অজানা, নেইকো কোনো মানা ,
     বেগবতী নদী ধেয়ে চলে যায়.


সে যে উদ্দেশ্যহীন, সে যে দিক-জ্ঞানহীন
     মনে মোর নেই কোনো ভয়.
বাধা মানে না, কান্না জানে না,
     করবে সে চতুর্দিক জয়.

For those who dnt know Bengali alphabet:


Hetha hotha setha, ghure berai soda,
     mon je mor kotha mane na.
mon re mon, ektu tobe son,
     pagla je se kahare sone na.


chonchol sochol goti, komol torol moti
     jaani se sudhu ekla chole jai.
jana ojana, neiko kono mana,
     begboti nodi dheye chole jaai.


se je uddeshyoheen, se je dik-gyanneen
     mone mor nei kono bhoi.
badha mane na, kanna jane na,
     korbe se choturdik joi.

A war with time

I saw, time beckoning me.
A mysterious sense of competition overwhelmed me.
I was determined to defeat time.
And leave it behind.
I asked the hands of the wall clock
To stop their motion.  They didn't care.
I entreated them to stop.
They carried on their motion.
I became angry and hurled a stone towards the clock.
The hands were broken.
A laughter of victory illuminated my face.
I thought I had conquered time.
What a mockery of the great eternity!
I looked at my wrist.
At once, all my dreams were broken.
The time was still going on!
The wrist watch was ticking
And shouting, "You failed."
                      "You failed.".
"No no! I can't fail", I cried.
I again saw, time beckoning me.

requirement for research

One of the prerequired quility of good research is regularity and consistency which I lack

Thursday, January 13, 2011

I was searching for an external force that can drive d snake to at least a local minima.  Bt d problem is how come the external force know in which direction to move.  So many forces r present bt which1 to use?  N how to make them involved in d process of error minimization.  Cnt expect of  any right external force being created out of nowhere.  So hv to concrntrate on generating a force within.  Only internal force can know how much rigid n how much flexible d snake should be.  Bt this time d internal force hv to do 1 more thing.  It has to drive itself towards d minima without waiting for the external force.

One incidence is coming into mind.  In our M.Sc. hostel a black puppy was there.  It was little, fragile, weak n possibly ailing.  When it used to enter our hostel building, d hostellers didn't like it.  They made all possible efforts to keep it out of the hostel building.  They shouted on d little puppy even they had beaten it.  But I was amazed to see how stubborn d puppy was.  It kept coming in inspite of all their hatred.  Someday some1 gave it something to eat.  Gradually other hostellers also started caring for d little animal; it started growing n gradually it became lyk 1 of d members of our hostel.  I rember Subrata regularly cooked extra rice for d black puppy.  They used to dine togather, Subrata n her frnds inside d room and d puppy in d varandah just outside d room.  Sometime, when no1 had returned to hostel frm home after some vacation, except for Subrata n me, I remember d little puppy didn't let any outsider enter d hostel.  By it's adamant nature, it forced every1 to care n LOVE it.

Feeling lyk 1st phase of d puppy's story!!!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

:(

किसिकी बोहोत पिटाई करने का मन कर रहा है. मत पूछो किसकी, कोई वि जो पिटाई खाने को इच्छुक हो उसकी ही पिटाई करुँगी